Me

Is there something wrong with me
Something so deep that I just can’t see
I was just wondering.....
Cause every time I get with someone new
I start off happy and end up blue

Or maybe I just wish so hard
That I wish the whole thing apart
Negative thoughts always consume
Leaving me with a confused attitude

Or maybe I just expect to much and aim too high
And then when it crumbles I’m left with teary eyes.
I seem so confident on the outside...when the truth is
People don’t realize.... that I, the so called hard ass,
My biggest fear is that I will never be...LOVED

Nothin In Particular

This is nothing in particular..Just randoms that seem to pop in my head lately...

I've come to realize that boys play games and REAL MEN stake claim.

Because when I think of the couldas and wouldas that shoulda been...
I see that I lost trust and saw that what you had was nothin but lust and what could ever really come of that?

My Grandma tells me don't blame every man for another one's mistakes but its just...

When I finally looked at it...I saw his smile and then the bullshit but just on a smaller frame...Cause he's the main reason why I choose not to open up and have a real main.

I remember writing poetry trying to vent asking,"Is there something wrong with me? Something so deep that my eyes just can't see."

There ain't a damn thing wrong with me!! Just the same old story of a girl who loved gave her all to a boy and got hurt.

Now that I'm a woman I realize that...its just hard to get pass your past when these niggas constantly give you same shit different toilet syndrome...well it's time to flush.

And dudes wonder why there are so many songs out here about "Letting It Go" and this love is taking all of my "Energy".

Then you finally meet someone who may be worth the risk but you instantly sabotage by over reacting and categorizing, being defensive, or too nonchalant........

Please excuse my random babbling cause really this is nothing in particular...Just randoms that seem to pop in my head lately.

Rescue Me (Original Date 11/22/2008)

"Rescue Me" by Teedra Moses

[Verse 1:]
This poor heart of mine
Still feel I can find
A love to call my own
I gave him good love
Made him feel like a man
Now I need someone new
And I want someone like you

[Chorus:]
He will (Come and) Rescue me
I know one day he'll come for me
He will (Come and) Save me
And i'm waiting and I'm waiting

[Verse 2:]
He aint gotta be no gansta (gansta)
He aint gotta be no balla (balla)
Cause baby if we strugglin
I'll ride with you until we rise
Me for you and
You for me
A simple kind of love life
I've always dreamed of

[Repeat Chorus]

[Hook: Repeat 2x]
Want someone to come into my life and truly rescue me
From the pain that a love selfishly has left with me
I need lovin I need love if nothin else
Baby if your out there holla back

Oooooohhhhhoooooo

[Chorus:]
He will (he will come and) Rescue me (rescue me)
I know one day he'll come for me
He will (baby I'm waiting, waiting for you) Save me (save me)

[Repeat hook till end]


So basically this is where I'm at with my personal life...lol. I would love to find the man that can rescue me but I kinda feel as if he doesn't exist or mayb I'm tooo picky. I mean I always have these as some dudes that I've dealt with would like to say "unreal expectations" which I don't think they really are. All I'm asking for a MAN to do is just be real with me...pay attention to the little things...do stuff just because....don't lie...don't cheat (if u think you see something better just let me know and I'll b on my merry lil way lol), and be there for me: mentally...emotional..and physically(not always the freaky freaky kind either lol).

I've been through alot in my life at a young age to know that everything will not be a fairytale even though we may like for it to be. There are no Prince Charmings on white horses that will come sweep me off my feet but if I can just find that one man who can make me smile from the depths of my soul and his touch can take away all my pain and make me feel at ease after a stressful day I'll be alright.

I feel as if I'm a good woman who deserves a good man so that we can achieve GREATNESS....."So Baby if you out there holla back" ;)

Untitled

High hopes, Half truths
And words left unsaid
Unresolved issues, That need to be solved
Are all that fill my head

I tell you that you fill my thoughts and you say the same
So why is it when I look at my phone I never see your name

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder
I say it makes your nights grow cold
Tell me is this really the way the story of "us" unfolds

Sometimes I wish I would've never met you so I wouldn't feel like this
But its useless cause I can still remember the taste of your sweet lips

Just know that you'll always be in my heart
Cause how can you let go of something that never really got a start?

It seems like you've moved on
And I don't want to but I guess I must too
There's still so much love here
But I wish it would've came between
I & You

Here We Go....

So here goes...got suckered into this blogging thing. I'm always bored but have so much on my mind sooo I figure why not. But what do I write about?? I don't know how personal I wanna get...naming names...telling all my business?? Yea don't think that would be cool...lol. So I'll use this as a place to put my old poems...randoms...& vent in subliminals. Yea that'll work.


Well to tell u about me. I'm a regular girl born & raised in the Midwest currently living below the Mason-Dixon line. I love to sing, dance, act, & recite movie lines. I love my friends they are my world. Purple is the best color PERIOD!!! Basketball is the shit...Football is alright. Kobe Bryant has been the love of my life since the age of 11 & this will NEVER change. I'm a hopeless romantic & I wear my heart on my sleeve. Well that's enough for now as this diary of sorts progresses you'll get to know me...BUH BYE